i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
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Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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