Rock
Scissors
Fuck
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
