Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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