Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
