Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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