i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
