i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
