Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize