He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize