I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
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He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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