I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
