honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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