You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
