So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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