My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
