Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
