I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
