i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
