I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
