$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Screwed.edu
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
