where does the pee come out of this thing
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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