my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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