We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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