i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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