apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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