I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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