You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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