I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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