Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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