I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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