I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
