then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize