I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
