Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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