Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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