Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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