Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
