I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
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I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I believe in your delicious
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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