So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
