Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
