dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
