atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
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It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you