Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
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so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
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porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.