At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
