I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
