Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
