The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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