Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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