this just has baby written all over it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm bleeding and have questions
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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