I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
