eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he laminated a picture of his dick.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
