Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
