we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
