i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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