come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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