I smell stomach acid.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
