you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.