That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
