Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!

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  (815): escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see! http://tfl.nu/96ew
  Replies (64) Good night (1197) Bad night (2195)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.

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  (336): i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night. http://tfl.nu/mqbm
  Replies (18) Good night (950) Bad night (3607)
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  (916): View more from California

  Michael Bay diarrhea

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  (916): Michael Bay diarrhea http://tfl.nu/1hpz
  Replies (25) Good night (747) Bad night (3982)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies

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  (631): im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies http://tfl.nu/qgfc
  Replies (64) Good night (19811) Bad night (1582)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I swear god or herbie drove my car home

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  (912): I swear god or herbie drove my car home http://tfl.nu/eanl
  Replies (34) Good night (5174) Bad night (1109)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?

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  (402): So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy? http://tfl.nu/0629
  Replies (44) Good night (6258) Bad night (1554)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.

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  (612): three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left. http://tfl.nu/3pzj
  Replies (9) Good night (7727) Bad night (893)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?

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  (508): i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now? http://tfl.nu/8a2l
  Replies (8) Good night (1598) Bad night (564)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.

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  (314): I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that. http://tfl.nu/dkkg
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (390)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.

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  (814): Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn. http://tfl.nu/bgu3
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (318)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.

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  (231): I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/j7wr
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (439)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!

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  (519): Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?! http://tfl.nu/c1nz
  Replies (7) Good night (668) Bad night (384)
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  (265): View more from

  I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.

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  (265): I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit. http://tfl.nu/kzhy
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.

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  (240): Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak. http://tfl.nu/m0s0
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (183)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing

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  (513): I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing http://tfl.nu/1krz
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (134)

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