i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila