turn off your phone and go to bed
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling