The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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