im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
