U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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