Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
