HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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