I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
