Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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