Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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